Abigail (Abby) Rose - January 21, 2016 Update

We decided yesterday afternoon to bring Abby home. We wanted to be with our son Levi and be closer to our support system (family, friends, etc). This is the hardest thing we have ever faced in our lives. I am glad we were able to allow family and friends to visit and hold Abby. We try to show her as much love as possible. Not that we want to be cruel or give her up sooner than we have to but we pray that this will not be drawn out and that Abby will suffer as little as possible. That is always our major concern and we appreciate the hospice nurse being able to check on her and assure us that she is showing no signs of discomfort or pain. A social worker came to visit us today and was a blessing in a time like this. It was nice being able to talk things out and we covered many different areas and concerns as we move forward. I think what really hit me today was that this will be a life long pain. I believe for some reason I thought there was a finish line at the end and everything would be the way it was. I am not saying we will never be happy again or experience joy with Levi and any other children we are hopefully blessed with. I am saying that some time many years from now I'll break down and cry as I think of my beautiful daughter whose life was so brief. I also believe even more now that God is calling me into some sort of ministry. I feel like I am not a good enough Christian, husband, or father to do anything but I felt called to do something for a few years now. I just put it off or find an excuse. I challenge anyone reading this to get real with God now and not just use Him as a backup plan when something like what we are experiencing comes up. It's easier said than done. We need to pray just as hard when the sun is shining and we feel like nothing's wrong. 
-Mike

Bringing Abby home was such a difficult decision for me. The hospital felt safe. Sometimes I would go into the shower in our room and not want to come out. The world is a scary place when your baby is dying. I spent Thursday evening through Wednesday in the NICU wing at the York hospital and the nurses and doctors quickly became a new kind of family and it was hard to leave all those caring faces and hands behind. But I was ready to go home. Mike and I needed our own bed to sleep in(even then it's not a perfect night's sleep) And as much as Abby needs us, Levi was also in need of his Mommy and Daddy. He's a smart little man and knows that something is wrong. Plus being so much closer to all our our loved ones is comforting. In the middle of the night last night Levi came into our bedroom and was pretty happy to find Daddy and Mommy there. :-) We also have Abby snuggled in bed with us close by our side. As Mike said we are showering her with all the love and attention possible. The only time she wasn't being held today was when the hospice nurse was checking her or I was changing her clothes/diaper so you know how loved she is!! I believe the words could keep flowing for awhile but exhaustion is setting in so I'll save that for later. I do want to say that despite his doubt I have the most amazing husband and if I had to go through this with anyone I am so thankful to have him by my side. Sometimes all we can do it cling to each other and cry and I'm so thankful that we can be there for each other through this new journey. Life has forever changed for us. Not necessarily for the bad but through Abby a new chapter in our life is starting. 
- Melissa

Abigail (Abby) Rose - January 18, 2016 Update

From Melissa: 

I know that everyone is wondering the results of Abby's MRI that was scheduled for today. We expressed yesterday that we didn't at all expect it at all to change the current prognosis for Abby and as expected it did not. The MRI was able to show the extent of the damage to Abby's brain. With the exception of a few areas the majority of Abby's brain was severely damaged. 

Abby has been very quiet and peaceful today. I was able to hold her not once but twice and Mike got to hold her once as well. It is horrible to feel so helpless knowing there is nothing we can do to "fix" our precious little baby. For now we just weep over her and love on her as much as we can. Right now I feel like I can't cry anymore I'm just emotionally exhausted. But I know that come tomorrow(probably sooner) the tears will be flowing again. We are just clinging to each other and God as we walk down this scary path together. 

The Dr said today that we were handling everything so well and he didn't know where we were getting our strength from and all I could say is "from God". I'm positive that all the many many prayers be said for us all hours of the day are helping to sustain us daily. 

We continue to be grateful for everyone reaching out to us offering to help us with whatever we need. I apologize if I haven't gotten back to each of you but know that your offers are appreciated! Please continue to pray for us as I'm sure you can imagine it's very difficult to watch Abby slip away from us. The hurt and pain is great. 

I just want to share with you all the lyrics of a hymn that we were given today. 

He giveth more grace as our burdens grow greater,

He sendeth more strength as our labors increase;

To added afflictions He addeth His mercy,

To multiplied trials He multiplies peace.

When we have exhausted our store of endurance,

When our strength has failed ere the day is half done,

When we reach the end of our hoarded resources

Our Father’s full giving is only begun.

Fear not that thy need shall exceed His provision,

Our God ever yearns His resources to share;

Lean hard on the arm everlasting, availing;

The Father both thee and thy load will upbear.

His love has no limits, His grace has no measure,

His power no boundary known unto men;

For out of His infinite riches in Jesus

He giveth, and giveth, and giveth again.

Annie J. Flint

From Mike:

I just wanted to add that the Doctors said it was nothing we did or didn't do. As much as we would like to know why there are no answers. When babies are born under the condition that Abby was born any number of organs can be damaged. Sometimes the baby fully recovers. Some babies may not have the brain damage that our poor Abby experienced but their kidneys or heart may have failed. The medical field has not yet discovered every mystery of our complex bodies and they still do not know why this happens or why one or more organs survive and others suffer. The medical staff at Chambersburg and York did everything they could. When the Neurologists examined her they were very careful and checked for any sign of hope. I remember when the first Dr (I'll withhold any names of the medical staff) examined her I could see the worry on his face and in his eyes. I think my heart broke at that moment. He wasn't making a scene or being dramatic, there was just genuine concern on his face. At that time there was still hope but we were thinking mental or physical disabilities. We were faced with extremely hard choices today. Choices that I had hoped I would never have to make regarding my child. We have a hard road before us and we need prayers and support. Everyone here has told us that we are strong and every Dr and nurse that has spoke to us has been impressed with how we and handling this and how much we put Abby and Levi before ourselves. A very dear Dr. cried as he told me I spoke very eloquently for our daughter. As Melissa said our strength comes from God. I am not a super Christian. I think I fail daily as a Father and a Christian but I always try to get back on the path. I love both of my children and I feel a part of me will never heal from this. I can not understand how some "parents" can treat their children the way they do and one of mine never was able to experience joy etc. I know we have enough love in our hearts for more than two children and I hope we are blessed again at some point in our lives. 
Leaning on Jesus, 
Mike and Melissa

Abigail (Abby) Rose - January 17, 2016 Update

When you are facing impossible situations you always pray that the start of a new day will bring encouraging news or the miracle you've been praying for. That did not happen for us today. After slowly warming Abby's body up last night her brain activity continued to be monitored. Unfortunately, the news that was returned is there is still no activity showing in Abby's brain. So many things are working properly in her precious little body but her brain just isn't functioning. 

Where we go from here. This one is the hardest questions of them all. There is no treatment for a brain injury like Abby's. So the next thing on our list is that tomorrow Abby will be having an MRI done. The MRI isn't expected to change the current prognosis but will confirm what we've been told as well as show where the damage in Abby's brain is. Then at some point we should be able to get some pictures taken with Abby and hold and cuddle her as much as possible. We are not sure how much time we will have with Abby, it could be days it could be a week... 

We never would have fathomed that our time with Abby would be so short. We love this precious child God has given us, even if it is only for a brief time on this earth. We are praying for God's strength to carry us through the days to come and are thankful for the prayers going up for us and our loving and supportive family and friends who are here loving on us and crying with us. 

Leaning on our Heavenly Father, 
Mike and Melissa

 

Abigial (Abby) Rose - January 15, 2016 Update

Melissa's Update: 

24 hours after my c-section I was able to be discharged from Chambersburg Hospital last night(Thursday) and travel up to York to be with Mike and Abby. The discharged me pretty quickly so I could be with Abby. I am very tired and sore and in some pain but at the same time thrilled to be able to be here to watch and touch Abby. This evening they let me take her temperature and wash her face off. I am taking pain medication and resting/sleeping with my feet up as much as possible. I am also pumping and saving breast milk for Abby. Please pray that my body continues to heal, that the pain will diminish and that my milk will come in soon. 

Abby's Update:

Today has been a day that was both encouraging and discouraging. This morning the Neurologist talked with us. Abby's kidneys, lungs, and heart all seem to be working properly. Her labs have looked great. And it doesn't appear that she's had anymore seizures. The Neurologist is very concerned with Abby's lack of brain activity. At this point he would like to see more peaks on the machine that monitors her brain wave but her readings are steady. Yesterday her condition was considered moderate to severe. Today it was considered severe. She also still has swelling on her brain and is still in a coma.

This afternoon they were able to remove Abby's breathing tube and move her to a cpap. There have been several times where the prongs from the oxygen came out of her nose and she was breathing on her own during those moments which we are thankful for. She was also taken off her seizure mediation. They will continue to monitor her for seizures and if she has more they will restart the medicine. 

Tomorrow: Not a whole lot is planned for most of tomorrow. She will continue to be on the cooling blanket until late tomorrow evening. At that point they will slowly start to raise her temperature back up and we'll see how she handles that. 

The Future: There are still no definite answers and many unknowns on how the condition of Abby's brain will affect her future. She may be facing mental and/or physical disabilities. There is nothing more we can do except continue to take one day at a time. The staff here have been amazing and have stressed over and over that they will be here with us each step of the way providing Abby with the best of care and making sure we have the support we need. This is obviously a very emotional time for us and we continue to covet everyone's prayers. 

Trusting in the Great Physician, 
Mike and Melissa 

Abigail (Abby) Rose - January 14, 2016

Originally posted January 14, 2016 by Mike on our Caring Bridges page:

Abby was born January 13, 2016, her birth weight was 7 lbs and 5 oz and she was 20 inches in length. 
She had a rough start with an emergency c-section and was delivered with birth asphyxia. Abby was born with no heartbeat but the medical staff at the Chambersburg Hospital was able to resuscitate her. Once she was stabilized she was flown to York Hospital where she is currently receiving care. Because of the asphyxia there is concern for her internal organs with her brain being the major focus. They currently have her on a cooling blanket and her current state is that of a coma. They will monitor her and have her on the cooling blanket for 72 hours. Then they will slowly take her off and warm her. There are many questions that will not be answered for weeks. Some questions may not be answered for years. There is no medical reason that they were able to find for the cause of the asphyxia. Our only thought right now is that our baby girl is happy and she knows that her Mommy and Daddy love her no matter what. Please pray with us that she will continue to develop and that her body did not suffer too much from the asphyxia. We will continue to post updates to this website. Thank you!

 

Textile Trolley Bibs Review

*Products I'm reviewing were paid for by me. All opinions are my own. 

When you start shopping on Etsy.com it doesn't take long to discover how many great shops there are that sell adorable products. I'm not even sure how I originally ran across Textile Trolley. I think I may have been looking for a cute bib for my son's second birthday. The Textile Trolley bibs looked adorable, the prices weren't bad and the reviews were great. So I decided to get the Airplane bib and the Tractor bib(top row). Beyond just being just plan cute these bibs are 100% cotton and tripled layer for absorbency! I also love the cotton toweling backing that is used on the back of the toddler bibs. I've had them since March and they've been sprayed with stain remover and thrown in the washer/dryer many times and have laundered well and are in great shape.

The bottom row of bibs is for baby girl(due in January). I can't wait use these on our newest baby. Like the toddler bibs these are also made with 100% cotton and are tripled layered. The difference being that the two layers after the designer cotton are both a soft cotton flannel instead of the cotton toweling that backs the toddler bib. Once again super adorable prints that just can't be found at your local Target... and trust me, I'm a huge fan of Target! ;-)

Top row shows the cotton toweling, bottom row the soft cotton flannel. 

A few shots of the bibs in action on my two year old! 

If you're looking for a durable, quality bib to last through the toddler stages give Textile Trolley a try. I'm sure you won't be disappointed!! 

My Favorite Quick and Easy Pizza Dough Recipe

Everyone likes pizza right? For me it's something that is easy to make at the end of a workday when you don't really feel like ending up with a lot of dishes to wash(or for your husband to wash!). However I don't want to wait around forever waiting for my dough to rise. That's where this fast rising dough comes in! Very easy and always a hit with family and friends! 

Ingredients:

1 cup warm water 

1 tablespoon honey 

2 tablespoon oil 

1 tablespoon instant yeast 

1 teaspoon season salt 

2-­3 cups flour, I normally end up using about 2 3/4 (1 cup white flour and the rest white wheat flour)

 Directions 

1. In a large bowl or in the bowl of an electric stand mixer fitted with the dough hook, mix the water, honey, and yeast. Let rest for 5 minutes. Add oil and salt. Add the flour gradually until a soft dough forms and pulls away from the sides of the bowl. The exact flour amount will vary so go by the touch and feel of the dough versus the exact cup measurements in the recipe. The dough should be soft and smooth (not leaving a residue on your fingers but not super stiff, either). 

2. Knead the dough(via your mixer) for 5 minutes. This can also be done by hand. 

3. Let the dough rest, covered, for 10 to 20 minutes. Shape the dough into pizza(s), spread with sauce and toppings, and bake at 450 degrees about ­10 minutes

4. Let rest 5 mintues before serving.

5. Enjoy!! 

Recipe Source: Recipe slightly adapted from a recipe at Mel's Kitchen Cafe